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The Dinner Party
The Dinner Party is the fourth story in the Just Your Typical Dysfunctional Family series, as well as the first "Everyone is Here!" story, meaning that rather than focusing on a select few characters, every character is involved in some way. In this story, everyone is told to get dressed formally for an upcoming dinner party. Plot "ATTENTION LADIES, GENTLEMEN, PLANTS, AND OTHER MEMBERS OF THE SMASH MANSION!" came the Announcer's booming voice. "I HAVE A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE THAT AFFECTS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, SO LISTEN UP!" All ears were on the Announcer for this special announcement the Announcer was about to announce. "ALL OF US HAVE BEEN INVITED TO THE LUNCHEON KINGDOM'S ANNUAL COOKING CARNIVAL, WHERE WE WILL BE FEASTING ON ALL SORTS OF TREATS AND FOODS PREPARED FOR US! YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DECLINE THE OFFER, AND ALL OF YOU ARE REQUIRED TO DRESS FORMALLY FOR THIS EVENT! WE WILL BE DEPARTING ON THE SMASH TRAIN TOMORROW MORNING, SO YOU HAVE UNTIL THEN TO FIND A SUITABLE SUIT! NOW DON'T MAKE US EMBARRASSED OR WE WILL NEVER BE INVITED AGAIN! UNDERSTOOD!?" Terry yawned as he got up out of his bed, with Ken waking up at the same time. "Man, you can never sleep with that blaring voice, can you?" Ken said. "No way anyone sleeps through that," Terry replied. "Anyway, I'm off to Smashville to get some clothes, since I doubt this is formal." Terry then gestured to his clothes. "You sleep with jeans?" Ken asked. "What? You sleep with a gi," Terry retorted. "Touche," Ken said. "Anyways, I'm coming with." Ready to start the day, Ken and Terry walked out of the room. They were very careful to not step over Olimar, Alph, or any of their Pikmin, who were all standing in the hall getting ready. "Alright everyone," Olimar called out, clipboard in hand. "We have a big day tomorrow, so everyone needs to be ready. Cedric, Sebastian, Lopez, Tina, and Sabrina, I need you all to go to Smashville and buy hats." The Pikmin in question saluted. "Billy, Richard, and Kowalski, you three are in charge of getting everyone shoes," Olimar called. The Pikmin proudly squeaked. "And the rest of you are in charge of garthering Mini Mushrooms from around the area to have the clothes fit all of us," Olimar finished. He then whistled, causing the Pikmin to scatter and do their jobs. "You think we should get ready too?" Alph asked. "They have it covered," Olimar reassured as they walked back into their dorm. Just across the hall, the so-called "Plant Gang" were deciding what clothes to wear. Or rather, the Blooming Trio were deciding what clothes to wear. Piranha Plant, Deku Baba, and Chomper just stood on the sidelines, letting the girls handle the fashion. It was their forte anyway. "So, big event, am I right?" Chomper said. Deku Baba and Piranha Plant just looked at him, not saying anything. "Oh right, I'm the only one who can talk around here," Chomper said. "STEE!" Steenee called out, putting the finishing touches on the plans. She, Floette, and Comfey showed the three other plants a drawing showing what to wear. Everyone would get a ring of flowers courtesy of Comfey, the Blooming Trio would wear dresses and tiaras, Piranha Plant would have a bowtie around his stem, Deku Baba would wear a top hat, and Chomper would wear a bowler hat and a cane in his mouth. The three looked at the picture and examined. After careful review, they made their agreement. "Sounds like a plan!" Chomper said. "I always thought I'd look good in a bowler hat!" Steenee, Floette, and Comfey cheered, and led their friends down the hall to start their shopping, running right by Bowser who was strutting down the hallway in his white wedding suit and matching top hat. Chrom walked out of his dorm, yawning, but a glance at the fanshionable Koopa king woke him right up. The two stared at each other for a minute, Bowser being the first to break the silence. "Why aren't you dressed yet?" he asked. "Come to think of it, why is NO ONE around here dressed? Aren't we going to a big dinner party?" "Um," Chrom started. "That's tomorrow." Bowser froze in place for a bit, and then groaned and walked back to his dorm room. He was so ready to go to the Luncheon Kingdom. Before he could open the door, Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings popped out and surprised him. The boys were all in white tuxedos and top hats, though Iggy cut the top of his off to let his pineapple mohawk flow. Meanwhile, Wendy and Pom Pom were wearing white dresses, matching Peach's wedding dress. "Well, whaddya think, Dad?" Bowser Jr. asked. "It's not today," Bowser sighed, a collective group of "AWWWWW"s following. ---- Down at Smashville, a lot of the Smashers were in the mall for some formal wear. Almost every clothing store was crowded with people looking to find good-looking clothes in such a short amount of time. Ike was looking through one of the aisles, and found a particularly spiffy dress suit and matching pants. Taking it from the shelf, he put them over his body and turned around to show Marth. "Hmmm..." Marth pondered. "I like the suit, but maybe a more blue-ish color would fit better?" "Whatever you say," Ike said, hanging up the clothes. He walked down the aisle a bit more and picked out clothes that looked the same, but more blue like the Hero King suggested. He took them and turned to Marth for his approval. "No, now that's too blue," Marth said. "I think it needs to be darker." The Radiant Hero groaned to himself as he put the suit away. Looking through the aisle some more, he found another suit that looked darker than the blue one, but lighter than the black one. "How about this?" Ike asked. "Not my preferred shade," Marth responded. "But it'll do." "So what are you wearing?" Ike asked. "I'm not sure," Marth answered. He took a glance around the aisle, before a crimson-red vest and matching dress pants caught his eye. He took it, held it over himself, and showed Ike. "Looks good," the Radiant Hero said. "Are you just saying that to get this over with?" Marth said, raising an eyebrow. "No, the red looks good on you," Ike answered. "Well, I don't think it does," Marth said, hanging the clothes back up. "Then why did you pick it?" Ike asked. "It was simply a test," the Hero King answered. Ike groaned as he followed Marth down the aisle, and likely not the last one. On the other side of the store, Sonic and Amy were looking for clothes themselves. Well, to be more accurate, Amy was looking for clothes for Sonic, considering she already had a full wardrobe of dresses and suits for such an occasion. Amy picked a nice pair of black shoes, and held them to Sonic. "OK, so how about these?" Amy asked. "No," Sonic deadpanned. "Come ON, Sonic!" Amy whined. "You gotta wear SOMETHING with that black suit! Those red shoes just don't go with your outfit!" "I said no," Sonic repeated. "These shoes are what give me my speed. Without my speed-" "You're nothing, I heard you the last kajillion times!" Amy moaned, rolling her eyes. "Can you JUST pick a pair of shoes? For me?" "No," Sonic answered. "That's it!" Amy said, pulling out her Piko Piko Hammer. "You let me buy you some new shoes RIGHT NOW or you're NEVER seeing those red kicks again!" "Hey, hey, hold on Amy," Sonic said, backing up a bit. "No need to do anything hasty!" He was lucky he was able to run at mach speed, otherwise he probably wouldn't have dodged the incoming hammer swing. He sped out of the aisle and out of the store, with Amy hot on his trail. "YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN NEVER HIDE!" Amy shouted. PAC-MAN and Snake, who just so happened to be in the aisle behind the scene, looked out from the side, wondering what all the commotion was about. "What's her problem?" PAC-MAN asked. "No idea," Snake answered. "Say Snake, while I got you on the horn," PAC-MAN began, "Which do you think looks better?" PAC-MAN then showed him his wrists, each covered by different-colored cuffs, one green and the other... a slightly lighter green. Snake was confused. "They look exactly the same," he said. "Hardly!" PAC-MAN said. "Even the slightest color change can make all the difference in your outfit." He then admired his wrists in the mirror, trying to decide which color looked best. The darker one, admittedly, looked better, though the lighter one would probably go with his colors better. The Power Pellet eater stared at the mirror for almost a minute, while Snake just looked on in pure confusion. "Can't you just get yourself like... a bowtie or hat or something?" the ex-FOXHOUND member asked. "Fat chance!" PAC-MAN shot back. "Yellow is my most defining color, and I can't give that up no matter the cost!" "I don't have time for this," Snake sighed. "I'm just gonna rent this tuxedo and get this over with." "So long," PAC-MAN waved as the soldier left. He continued to ponder between what color he should use until something caught his eye. Turning around, he saw another pair of cuffs, which were a very slightly darker shade than the other ones. He slipped them on, looked at the mirror, and nodded. "Yup, these are the ones!" Meanwhile, Snake had to sit through a pretty long line to get his tuxedo checked out. Of course, that was to be expected, since everyone needed fine clothes to get ready for the dinner party. While he was waiting though, he saw PAC-MAN being chased out of the store by the manager. "I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD TO BUY THE WHOLE SUIT!" PAC-MAN yelled as he made his escape. Snake just chuckled to himself. ---- Many of the Smash Mansion's residents went to Smashville to find their best clothes, but others who either didn't want to waste the time or didn't want to risk not finding anything and have their efforts be in vain turned to the help of their fellow Smashers. Rarity was one such Smasher. Being a fashion designer back in Equestria, fine clothing and design came naturally to her. A long line of Smashers stood by her dorm room, waiting to get her assistance. It was a good thing she brought her dressmaking supplies with her, otherwise these pour souls wouldn't know what to do. Her first customer was, of all Smashers, Rambi. He stood on a particularly large stool in the center of the room. How the stool was able to support the weight of a giant rhinoceros was anyone's guess, but Rarity wasn't one to question it, especially if it made her work easier. "Now darling," Rarity said, finishing her inspection. "I know you aren't a pony and wouldn't fit in any clothes of the size, but since you have a somewhat similar build, I think I can make something work if you would just pick a design that suits your tastes." Rambi snorted in reply. The Element of Generosity wasn't quite sure how to respond. "OK... so I'll just... show you my stallion's wear and you just tell me what you like," Rarity said. Using her unicorn magic, she opened a closet nearby as pony mannequins began floating out, each sporting a different suit. Rambi looked at each of them, trying to decide what would be best on him. With a snort, he came to a decision, leaning to the side and touching his horn on a mannequin with a rather snazzy green suit, white undershirt, and matching bowler hat, complete with a golden flower in one of the pockets. If it weren't made for a pony, one would think the outfit would belong to a leprechaun. "Excellent choice, Rambi!" Rarity said. "Now then, if you would just stand still for a moment..." Using her magic, she put the mannequins away, and instead pulled some green and white fabric. Seemingly sewing them together instantly, a skill she learned from the Smash Mansion's other magic users, she was able to create a replica of the outfit to match Rambi's exact dimensions. Then came the bowler hat, which was placed square on his head. The finishing piece was the flower, which she sculpted with some thin paper material and placed it on the tip of the rhino's horn. With the set complete, she levitated a mirror in front of him. "And viola!" Rarity said, proud of her work. Rambi was proud of it too. He never really had a sense of fashion, nor had he ever considered wearing clothes, but he had to admit he looked quite sharp. The green contrasted nicely with his gray skin, and the sparkles and flower gave it all that extra bit of pizzazz that tied it all together. "Alright, I'll be saving this outfit for you," Rarity said, using her magic to take the clothes off and stick them in a suitcase. "When you need the clothes, just let me know, darling." Rambi huffed in response, stepped off the stool, and trotted out of the dorm room. He walked right past Captain Falcon and Mega Man, who just stared at him. "She made a costume for that rhino!?" Falcon said in shock. "I mean, she is a horse," Mega Man commented. "It was probably easy for her to design a formal look for Rambi." "What could possibly look good on him?" Falcon retorted, half cocky and half disbelief that Rambi of all people would be able to get a suitable outfit. "I suppose we'll find out tomorrow," Mega Man said. "But if she can make a costume for him, she can certainly make one for us." "NEXT!" Rarity called from inside. "That's my cue!" Captain Falcon stepped inside as he closed the door behind him. Mega Man and the other Smashers in line waited patiently, only for the F-Zero Pilot to be thrown out of the dorm and into the wall, smashing the door in the process. Rarity stepped out and gave him a death glare. "Hmph!" she grunted. "That ought to teach YOU how to treat a lady!" She immediately shook off her nasty look and glanced happily at Mega Man, gesturing to come into the dorm room with her. All the Blue Bomber could do was just stare at the unconscious Captain Falcon. Then he facepalmed and shook his head. "Really dude?" Rarity wasn't the only Smasher on designer duty. A few floors above, the Able Sisters were running their own business for another group of Smashers, tailoring outfits to suit their needs. Thank goodness the dorm rooms were pretty big, otherwise they probably wouldn't be able to support as many Smashers as they did now. Miyu and Fay were standing with Sable and Mable, picking out different designs. "I recommend this one," Sable said, pointing to nice white gown with golden lining. "Formal while also fashionable!" "Oooh, I'll take it!" Fay said, snatching the dress from the shelf, leaving the room to try it on herself. "Umm, you got any dress pants?" Miyu asked. "I don't do dresses and skirts." "Of course!" Mable said, leading the lynx to another shelf and pointing to a pretty sharp black coat with matching pants and white undershirt. "This is usually suited for men, but it can work for girls too!" "This'll work," Miyu said, picking the outfit off. "Though I think it needs like, a nice belt or something." "Oh, just see Labelle over there," Sable said, pointing to the other side of the room. "She can suit all your accessory needs!" Miyu walked over to Labelle's counter, who of course had a bunch of items such as ties, hats, belts, and even handkerchiefs. In front of the counter was Engineer Monkey, who had three Sentries placed on the counter, and took a couple bowties and stuck them under the barrels. He was quite proud of how snazzy they looked. His nail gun was even decked out, having a nice ascot attached to it. "You do know you need some clothes, right?" Miyu asked. Engineer Monkey simply shook his head and carried his items out of the room. All he ever wore was a hard hat, and no way he was going to stop now. Besides, his Sentries' decorations should have been more than enough to qualify. The lynx just rolled her eyes and went to Labelle. "Got a red belt?" Miyu asked. "Right here," Labelle said, pulling a sparkling red belt from under the counter. It looked like it fit. "Thanks," Miyu said, taking her items and leaving the room. Though the Able Sisters were happy to satisfy their customers, their work was far from over since more Smashers piled into the room. ---- "Mr. Mario, wake up!" Isabelle called. Groggily, Mario rose from his bed and rubbed his eyes awake. He took a glance at the clock by the window. "It's 6:00 AM," Mario sighed. "Why-a would you-a POSSIBLY be awake at this hour?" Once Mario's eyes adjusted, he noticed that Isabelle wasn't in her normal attire. Instead, she wore a nice green checkered gown reaching above her knees, with a big white heart on the torso. She also had her favored bells replaced with a green ribbon, tied in a bow, which kept her fur tied in a bun. "The Hands want us to be at the Luncheon Kingdom in the next hour so we can start preparing the party," Isabelle said. "Now hurry up and get dressed, we need to be by the station in the next 30 minutes!" Before Mario could say anything more, Isabelle fled the room to the foyer. Mario simply sighed, being the "leader" of this giant dysfunctional family was tough, and he was pretty surprised with how well Isabelle was able to handle it with him. Pulling himself out of bed, he opened his red wardrobe and slipped on his wedding outfit and matching hat. Sure, it was not the most formal of suits, but it was definitely quite fashionable. Satisfied in the mirror, he headed out the room to meet Isabelle in the foyer. But not before taking a sip of coffee. This was gonna be a long day. ---- By the time everyone was awake and had to get ready to leave, the men's changing room as in absolute chaos. Luigi managed to dress himself up quite nicely, wearing a black button-up coat, white undershirt, black pants, and a big top hat with his "L" emblem on it. Completing the look was a cane in his hand: it looked like he was about to break into a tap dance! "It's on backwards, moron," Dark Pit chided as he walked past. Luigi took further inspection, and realized that his entire coat was indeed on backwards. Luigi sighed and slipped the coat off, trying to turn it around. Contrasting the green plumber, Dark Pit had gone the bare minimum when it came to dressing up. All he did was slip on some black slacks under his robes, but other than that he was pretty much wearing his normal outfit. If he could have, he would have passed on the dinner party, but he knew the Hands wouldn't have that. "Hey Pittoo, how do I look?" Pit called from the other side of the room. Dark Pit sighed and shot a glance at his lighter counterpart. Compared to him, Pit had gone all out, wearing a cape, ascot, white dress shirt and slacks, and a feathered hat. Tying the whole thing together was a golden cane he had in his hand, and he even decided to throw a monocle on his left eye for good measure. He was dressed to impress, and it was just what Dark Pit would have expected out of him - dumb. "First of all, stop calling me Pittoo," Dark Pit said. "Second of all, you look dumb." "Oh come on," Pit whined. "I worked my hardest to try and look as good as possible!" "Well try harder," Dark Pit deadpanned. "Or better yet, try less." Pit tried to say something else but they were interrupted by a loud bark. The two angels turned to see Duck Hunt in quite the squabble. The duck was trying to keep the dog's body still while he put on a tuxedo, but he wasn't having it, and was rolling around the ground frantically, doing whatever it would take to avoid that constricting suit. "For Arceus' sake!" the duck called. "Just put the damn thing on! I paid good money for this thing in Smashville!" The dog just barked again, and started squirming even harder. A stray kick managed to get the duck off of him for a bit. Seeing an opportunity to escape, he made a mad dash to the door, but the duck was right on his tail. "Get back here, mutt!" the duck spat. "I'm NOT in the mood for this today!" He flew right in front of Falco, who was almost knocked over by the running animals. "Hey, watch where you're going!" he said. He then walked over to the mirror, trying to get his bowtie to work. Fox stood right beside him, admiring himself in the mirror. "Y'know Falco, I never took you as a bowtie guy," Fox said. "I always pictured you as a... straight but barely-held-together tie kind of guy." "You look find yourself, James Bond," Falco spat. To be fair, with his black suit and white undershirt, he looked like he was working for some spy agency. Falco didn't look nearly as sharp, just wearing a gray coat and white shirt, not even bothering to zip it up. "Jeez, someone's a bit touchy today," Fox said. "And also doesn't know how to tie a bowtie." "You know I don't do formal," Falco said. "If you're dressing up fancy, either you're going on a date to impress a chick or you're a nerd going to a stupid quiz show. I ain't either of those things." "I know," Fox chuckled. "Believe me, I know." Then, he slipped on his sunglasses - the very same his late father James McCloud wore - completing the whole spy look. Satisfied, he left the room. "I'll save ya a seat on the train," he said. "Oh, and don't forget to tie those shoes, wouldn't want you tripping." "Oh piss off," Falco spat, but Fox just cocked the biggest shit-eating grin and walked out, leaving Falco and his bowtie, who still couldn't get it tied. ---- The women's changing room wasn't that much better. Sure, the ratio between men and women on the roster was heavily skewed towards men, but the females were a lot more concerned over their appearance, making things just as hectic. "Daisy, don't tell me you're going in THAT dingy thing!" Peach said. "C'mon, fancy dresses are for suckers," Daisy shot back. "You know I don't dress to impress." Both princesses were always considered polar opposites, and that couldn't be more clear with what they were wearing. Peach was in her wedding outfit, with the glamorous white showing her in all her glory, and the headdress taking the place of her usual crown. Daisy, on the other hand, just threw on a dress shirt and slacks she had in the back of her closet, only tying her hair in a bun so she could meet the formal criteria. She didn't want to, but she wasn't gonna get through this without some sacrifices. "I see holes in the legs," Peach pointed out. Indeed, Daisy's pants had visible holes. "If they don't wanna look, they don't have to," Daisy said. "Good luck avoiding getting that dress messy." Peach tried to say something, but she did have a point: it was going to be hard keeping her wedding dress clean. "Y'know Daisy, I could hook you up with a wedding dress," Madame Broode said from behind. Her regular attire was already quite formal, but she decided to go the extra mile and gut a headdress over her hat. Chain Chompikins sat beside her, wearing a matching hat. "Thanks but no thanks, cotton tail," Daisy said. "Not really into the whole formal thing, I just wanna get this over with." "Your loss," Broode responded. Just then, Cream the Rabbit came out of her dressing stall, wearing a dazzling bright-yellow top and skirt. Cheese decked himself out with a top hat, complementing his bowtie. "How do I look, Ms. Broode?" Cream asked, twirling around to let her skirt flow. "Marvelous," Madame Broode cheered as she applauded. Chain Chompikins barked in approval as well. "I bet your mother would be proud, now come along. We need to be at the train station soon." "OK," Cream said as she happily took Madame Broode's hand. The two walked out of the dressing room together. Beside them, Pinkie Pie and her pet alligator Gummy were playing a game of chess to pass the time. The pink pony decided to wear a cyan dress coat with a pitch-black skirt. The two clashed horribly, but there was no convincing Pinkie otherwise. Gummy on the other hand just wore a black tophat and blue bowtie over his neck. At least one of them would look good out there. Chain Chompikins barked to signal danger, and Madame Broode pulled Cream out of the way, just barely dodging an incoming dog running away from a duck, who was carrying a now-wrinkled suit. The duck managed to tackle the dog, and finally forced the suit on. "You are gonna wear this suit, and you are gonna like it!" the duck yelled, finally snapping the buttons together. The dog tried his best to throw the outfit off, but try as he might, he couldn't. Instead, he just sat there and whimpered. "Oh stop being a baby," the duck sighed as he hopped on his back. "Let's just get to the station now so we're not late." "Everyone!" came a call from the other end of the hall. It was Captain Falcon, wearing a pretty spiffy tuxedo and a black-colored helmet. "Check the news! Channel 7!" "What about it?" Richter said from behind, who was in a pretty fancy white tuxedo himself. Before he had a chance to respond, Falcon dove next to his place on the couch and took the remote, turning it to the news channel, and everyone watched carefully. "Welcome to Channel 7 Nintenews!" came the voice of a Lakitu reporter. "This morning, famous video game mascot PAC-MAN has been arrested and put to jail for tampering with Smashville products and refusing to pay for them. Reports say that he's been in hiding since last night, but thanks to his bright yellow body, police were able to find him. We'll keep you updated on this story as more information comes!" Sure enough, the screen showed a picture of PAC-MAN behind bars, confirming that he was in prison. "Are you serious?" Richter complained. "We're supposed to go to the Luncheon Kingdom and none of us are allowed to miss it! What are we gonna do?" "WELL I SUPPOSE ONE OF YOU WILL NEED TO BAIL HIM OUT!" the Announcer called through the room. "THIS IS A BIG EVENT, AND PAC-MAN ISN'T ALLOWED TO MISS IT!" "Are you listening the whole time?" Richter asked. "YES!" the Announcer said. "Not it," Falcon said. ---- The jail PAC-MAN was being held in wasn't a particularly long drive, but Samus would be lying if she said she was happy to make the trip. With a group as big as them, it was bound that a few of them would be arrested from time to time, and they'd all need to be bailed out. At the very least, she was happy that she wasn't as nonsensical with her outfit as some of her fellow Smashers. She wore a blue coat and matching skirt that stopped above her knees, with a white undershirt and heels. You could take a glance at her and say she was going to work at the office. Which was another reason why she had the job pawned on her. Heading into the jailhouse, she went to the counter, run by a Waddle Doo. Placing the suitcase full of money on the table and opening it, she instantly caught his attention. "I'm here to bail out PAC-MAN," she said flatly. "Sure thing," the Waddle Doo said. Then, he put on the intercom. "Jerry, please come to the front office." Jerry, who happened to be a Bokoblin, led Samus down the halls to PAC-MAN's cell. He was lying on his bed, snoring away. "Alright yellow," Jerry said as he opened the cell doors. "You're bailed out." PAC-MAN snapped wide awake, and saw Samus standing in the hall. "Guess you bailed me out?" he asked. "Begrudgingly," Samus muttered. "What the hell happened anyway?" "The idiot ripped off some cuffs from a suit and tried to buy them separately," Jerry said. "Hey, these cuffs look fashionable!" PAC-MAN retorted, showing off his wrists with the green cuffs. Samus and Jerry had to agree, they did look good on him.